Drink Me
by MaybeThere'sHope
Summary: Logan/Tweedles. Logan is feeling a little lonely after his split with Blaine. The Tweedles' idea of helping involves alcohol, cookies, and little something extra. 3M smut. Fair warning. Blaine/Tweedles companion is titled "That's Logic" CP's Dalton!verse


**So here's my next foray into fandoms other than Malec lol! I hope you guys like it. Some would consider this a crackship, I guess. It's a guilty pleasure for me, personally. Highly unlikely, but still hot, IMO. Originally posted on tumblr.**

**Characters/verse belong to CP Coulter, the queen of my world.**

**This one is also unbeta'd, but I looked it over two or three times. Go easy if I missed anything :)**

**Enjoy!**

"So, what are the stakes here boys? Because if it's not worth it I'm not wasting my time," said the blonde sitting alone on one side of the coffee table, seated cross-legged on the floor. His green eyes gazed steadily across at his opponents, both of whom were sporting calculating smirks. They looked to each other, nodded almost imperceptibly, and focused their tandem gaze back on him.

"A week in the South of France says you can't," said the one on the right.

"That's not even worth getting out of bed for," Logan said coolly, rolling his eyes. He used the silver plated fork balanced in his hand to scoop up another bite of cheesecake from the plate between them.

"Fine," chirped the one on the left, Ethan. "Two weeks."

"_Please_," he said, with another haughty eye roll.

"The entire month of June, then," said Evan. "Free reign over our villa for you _and_ your Cat and King."

"Plus full service at our penthouse in Paris on weekends, if you wish," Ethan added.

"And that's our final offer," they chorused together.

Logan seemed to deliberate to himself for a moment…weighing his options. An entire month at one of the nicest villas on the coast, _plus_ he could bring Jules and Derek? Not to mention the French men he'd be able to oogle at will the whole time.

"Deal," he said, setting down his fork and reaching for the first in the line of Patron-filled shot glasses that lay before him.

"Not so fast, Knave," Ethan said, holding up a finger and halting him.

"What is your counter offer if you do not succeed in your task?" Evan inquired.

Again, Logan deliberated for a moment before speaking. "Three weeks at my beach house in Malibu." The twins looked like they were going to protest, since the deal was obviously weighed in Logan's favor. Before they could speak, however, Logan continued, "And Julian will get you into the Grammys. Take it or leave it," he said with finality.

At the last bit, the twins raised their brows a bit. "Can you guarantee that, Knave? Just how much sway _do_ you have with Mr. Cheshire Cat, hmm?" Ethan asked. Evan looked equally expectant.

"Trust me," Logan replied. He wasn't _entirely_ sure he could pull it off, but he _was_ sure he wasn't going to lose this bet. Plus, if Jules refused, he could always get his dad to bully him up two tickets. He looked at his opponents, their icy blue stares turned toward each other for a few more seconds before they turned on him.

"Deal," they said finally. Ethan then picked up Logan's discarded fork and scooped off heaping bite of cheesecake. He lifted the fork to his brother's mouth, and Evan bit off half. Ethan popped the rest in his own mouth as Logan watched, mesmerized. They looked back at him, eyes anxious and expectant.

Logan now looked down at the table where, amongst the array of deserts (which included some very delicious looking sugar cookies that literally asked him to "Eat Me"), there rested ten crystal shot glasses full of glistening Patron. The bet was that he couldn't do all ten without stopping, and he was determined to prove the twins wrong. The three of them had already been drinking for a couple of hours, but in small doses. About a quarter of the contraband bottle was gone, having been poured into their glasses of sprite while they snacked on sweets confiscated from the dining hall with ridiculous ease. Logan had to admit, he was quite like a girl when he'd been dumped: he liked to gorge on sugar. The twins had been happy to oblige, as long as they got to partake.

Logan Wright, not to be intimidated by anything, much less a few shots of alcohol, reached for the first glass. He picked it up and knocked it back like he'd seen in the movies. He did the same with the next, and the next, and the next, until they were all empty and sitting upside down on the antique coffee table in his dorm room. He looked up after the last one, swiping at a bit that dripped at the corner of his mouth with his shirt sleeve. Their jackets, ties, and shoes had long since been shucked for favor of half unbuttoned white shirts, pants, and socks. He saw the twins just as clear as they had been before; it wasn't affecting him yet. They just looked at him, a little astonishment in their icy blue eyes.

"Well, well Knave. We stand defeated," said Evan cheerily.

"You have our respect," Ethan intoned solemnly, bowing his head in deference before looking back up with a grin.

Logan sat still for another ten seconds before his face broke into a triumphant grin, his head feeling lighter than it had in ages.

[an hour later]

"I'm not the least bit tired!" Logan said happily, even though the hour was nearing 4 a.m. They had continued snacking and drinking, but the twins had yet to catch up to his state. Logan wasn't completely drunk beyond return, but he was well past buzzed. The twins were pretty buzzed as well, but sometimes Logan couldn't tell if their behavior was alcohol-induced or just their normal crazy.

"Good! We've not even started the fun yet!" Evan chirped.

"Indeed, Knave, we came here for a reason. We know you're heartbroken because our dear White Rabbit has abandoned you for another," Ethan said. This earned a small scowl from Logan at the mention of Blaine, but he fought it back in favor of the blissful alcohol haze.

"So," Evan continued, "we have come to keep you company in your moment of loneliness…" he trailed off, moving to get up from his spot on the floor next to his brother.

Logan watched as Evan picked up a cookie from the plate that was quickly emptying, and placed the edge of it in his mouth so that the "Eat Me" was clearly visible. Ethan got up as well, but he made his way across the room to Logan's stereo and fiddled through to find a certain selection. Discovering it, he gave a short squeal and pressed play. Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit" filled the room with its seductive, psychedelic guitar picking. It was hypnotizing, really. It did nothing to bring Logan out of the hazy state he was in at the moment.

Evan was advancing on him now, crawling on all fours around the coffee table to where Logan sat, a little mesmerized. Those blue eyes looked up at him through long blonde lashes, and for a moment the twin looked like he was about five. He looked young and innocent and not near the devious little plotter he and his brother could be. This was ironic, however, considering their plan. He approached Logan, cookie presented, and kept looking up at him. Logan felt an unexpected twitch in his pants at the sight.

"Go on, you know you want it," came a voice right in his ear. Ethan had made his way back to the center of the room, and was now crouched next to Logan and whispering seductively. Logan was abruptly unsure which he meant: the cookie or the equally delicious-looking boy who was still looking up at him like a naughty puppy. He tried desperately to get his thoughts in check, fighting through the buzz. He'd always thought the quirky Windsor twins were attractive, even back when they were in middle school. He'd also noticed, over the years, that they were a little ambiguous in their sexual preferences. Logan had always wondered… He guessed now that they were an open door kind of pair.

"Go on, Knave," Ethan prodded, and this time his tongue darted out and flicked at Logan's exposed earlobe. He jumped in surprise, but gave a small sigh of contentment. He decided to give in because, well, what was he fighting against anyway?

He reached up with his hand to take the cookie from Evan's lips, but received a light slap on the wrist. Logan looked up to see a chastising look on Ethan's face.

"Oh, no my dear Knave," he scolded. "Hands are not for eating. Lips and tongues and teeth are for eating." At this, Evan crawled up closer. He proceeded to place a knee on each side of Logan's hips, straddling him and settling into his lap. Ethan then placed each of Logan's hands beneath his brother's knees, pinning them in place. "Now, eat."

Logan swallowed audibly, suddenly a little worried what Evan might feel through his pants at the moment. He wondered if it was some latent sexual attraction to the twins that had always been there, or if it was something brought about by the alcohol and the sweets and their decidedly seductive behavior. Neither of them seemed to care, so he forced himself not to. Who knew how crazy they got when they were drunk?

He leaned forward tentatively, his mouth advancing on the small, bite-sized cookie perched between Evan's top and bottom teeth. He came all the way in, tilting his head to the side to get a grip on the dessert with his own teeth. At the last minute, Evan used his tongue to shove the cookie into Logan's mouth. Only a little startled, Logan chewed and swallowed the tiny cookie just as Evan's lips devoured his. They were soft and deliberate, prodding and insistent. He tasted of butterscotch, cheesecake, and the ever present sweetness of the alcohol. After a few seconds, Logan felt Evan's tongue inside his mouth. He wasn't sure when he'd let it in, but oh _god_ it was nice. The twin definitely knew what he was doing. The dance inside their mouths continued, and Logan all but forgot the growing insistence in his groin.

That was, of course, until Ethan chimed in with a gentle tug of his teeth at Logan's ear. The twin at his side gave a low chuckle at Logan's unsuppressed moan of pleasure and continued to assault the sensitive spot. He eventually moved to the small spot right below Logan's ear, and started to suck at it gently, causing that twitch in Logan's nether regions again. He gave a small start, a low moan, and bit at Evan's lower lip. The twin kissing his lips pulled back slightly to look at him questioningly.

"Wha…what are you guys doing, anyway?" Logan managed, his green eyes slipping shut reluctantly as Ethan refused to cease his ministrations.

"As we said, dear Knave," Evan explained, placing a fleeting kiss against his lips, "we are here to keep you company." He placed another kiss at the corner of Logan's mouth. "We wish to make you feel better." Another kiss, this time at the curve of Logan's jaw. "And we felt we could do that just as effectively as the White Rabbit could." Another kiss on the other side of his jaw. "Maybe better?" And then a final kiss with a flick of his tongue at the hollow of Logan's throat. Ethan's hands had begun massaging Logan's shoulders with just the right amount of pressure, adding to the pleasurable haze that was overtaking him at the moment. He tried to fight it, still thinking that this was a tad bit awkward doing this with the Tweedle Twins. However, it was getting increasingly difficult, considering Ethan had moved behind him and was now devouring the back of his neck like it was part of the cheesecake that lay on the table.

Evan had begun opening the rest of the buttons on Logan's uniform shirt, exposing the skin of his chest. The twin then proceeded to lightly trace his nails down the front of Logan's torso, causing him to arch his back and bite back a loud groan.

"Don't hold back," Ethan said against the back of his neck. "We enjoy feedback." He bit playfully at the spot where Logan's neck met his shoulders. It was torture.

"I just…I don't know if I…" but he couldn't finish because damnit, Evan had started rolling his hips against him pointedly. Logan let out a long groan through his teeth. "_Please_," he whined. He wasn't even sure what he was begging for, but he just wanted more of it.

Evan had successfully rid Logan of his shirt, letting his hands free—even though they stayed limp on the floor where Evan's knees had left them—and was now working his belt free. He slowly ripped it from the loops, tossing it to the side. Where Evan's hands had left Logan's chest, Ethan went to pick up where he left off. His hands ghosted down the front of Logan's toned torso, grabbing at his chest and rubbing up and down his abs with practiced fingers. His brother was now endeavoring to rid Logan of his pants completely. Logan knew he should be protesting—anyone could walk in at any minute—but it was so much sensation everywhere. He couldn't quit. Plus, the alcohol was definitely dulling his inhibitions.

As Evan slipped his fingers into the waistband of Logan's black boxer briefs, he tried one last time to protest, but the words didn't get the chance to leave his lips. Instead, they were contorted into a needy moan when long fingers wrapped firmly around him. Evan's hand pumped him firmly, but not too much, since there wasn't lubrication to speak of at the moment. Evan seemed to read Logan's thoughts.

"Brother, can you help me please?" he asked politely, his voice not even wavering while Logan was growing weaker by the moment.

"My pleasure," Ethan replied softly into Logan's ear in that awful seductive voice of his. He got up and came around to Logan's front, joining his brother. Somewhere along the way, Ethan had shed his shirt. His bare chest brushed against Logan's arm. It was warm…oh so warm. Like Evan's hand.

Ethan knelt next to his brother, and now that Logan's legs were stretched out in front of him, they each straddled one of them. Ethan leaned down, licking his lips in a most unsavory way. It made Logan's groin twitch again, this time right up towards Ethan's face. Logan wasn't quite sure what the twin was going to do, but he probably should have expected it. As it was, he still nearly howled when soft lips, ones identical to the ones he'd been kissing just moments earlier, wrapped around him and descended slowly. He felt the hot tunnel of Ethan's throat close around him, and he squirmed as he felt the twin's tongue lave around the tip like it was made of candy.

Meanwhile, Evan had also gotten rid of his shirt. He reached over to the table and picked up the discarded fork, scooping up a bit of cheesecake from the plate. Logan watched as he came closer, holding up the bite of dessert. His green eyes watched it closely, expecting to be placed on his tongue. But Evan surprised him by dipping his own finger into the creamy cake, and slathering a bit on his lower lip. He then leaned in and pressed his mouth to Logan's again, and Logan sucked hungrily on the sweetness of the dessert on that plump lower lip. It was heavenly.

Logan was beginning to feel small rivulets of sweat roll down his back, a combination of the alcohol and his arousal, most likely. He found it hard to concentrate, though, on anything other than Ethan's talented mouth on him. Logan was letting out small pants and moans of pleasure while Ethan continued his assault and Evan took the fork—still piled with cheesecake—away from Logan's face. He repeated his motion from before, dipping in and depositing a bit on his lower lip. But this time, he leaned over just as Ethan's mouth let go. He placed the leftover bite in Ethan's mouth as he leaned down and let his sweet-covered lip drag along Logan's entire length, slathering it with sugary sweetness. He dropped the fork and looked at his brother. Logan had time to take in an astonished breath as they both descended on him from either side. Evan took the tip into his mouth as Ethan turned his head to run his tongue slowly up and down at the base. It was another overload of sensation for Logan, and he couldn't help crying out. He prayed that no one could hear over the music that enveloped the room.

"Jesus," he moaned. "Where did you learn—fuck!" he whined as Evan sucked hard and let go of the head with a soft pop. He looked up for just a moment, licking his lips, before going back to business. Both brothers moved their talented tongues up and down each side as Logan watched in awe. Every now and then, they would both come to the tip at the same time, taking it between them, their lips meeting in a slopping kiss. Logan had never been one for this kind of kink, but _damn_ he was having a hard time minding watching it now.

They continued in this way for a while, until Logan began to settle back against the couch. Well, they weren't having that; they wanted his full attention, damnit. From their position, facing each other and lips touching at the tip, Evan nodded to his brother slightly. Logan didn't even have a chance to notice. Ethan continued to suck and lick while placing his finger in his brother's mouth. Evan sucked hard, lathering it up. He held it between his teeth for a second, taunting Ethan a little, but let the shining slick finger go. With stealthy precision, Ethan slipped his hand down between them, and without warning, slid his finger inside up to the knuckle.

"Oh my _GOD_," Logan cried. Someone definitely heard that, but no one was coming. The twins had made sure of that. They kept up their ministrations while Logan writhed beneath them. Oh, to bring the mighty Knave to his knees, they thought with twin smirks. Logan began thrusting his hips up to meet their waiting lips, growing closer and closer to oblivion. Evan repeated Ethan's actions from earlier, shoving his finger into his brother's mouth, getting it nice and wet. When his middle finger joined Ethan's inside, Logan was beyond squirming. It was, once again, that overwhelming of sensation. It felt like they were everywhere. It literally was like he was with one person, but this person had eight limbs or something. They moved in perfect, practiced tandem, like naughty puppets pulled by the same strings. When one would suck on the tip, the other would devour down to the base. When one moved his hand in, the other slid almost all the way out, and vice versa. It was so maddening. One would think their movements would become predictable, but Logan kept jerking and twitching in surprise at every turn. He was spiraling down fast.

"Holy—mother of—shit!" he whined, unable to hold back anymore. Both twins hummed against his thin, heated skin at exactly the same moment, and Logan came undone. His whole body tensed as he came, both twins lapping up their prize eagerly.

When they had sufficiently cleaned up their mess, the twins sat up and eyed their quarry. He lay nearly motionless against the couch, head thrown back. If not for the quick rise and fall of his chest, they'd be afraid they'd gone a little too far. As it was, they smiled to each other and donned their shirts once more.

"You're welcome, our dear Knave," Ethan intoned softly into one ear.

"Feel free to call us anytime you need a pick-me-up in the future," Evan said into the other ear.

"When you get your heart broken again."

"Or if you're just lonely."

At Logan's soft moan of pleasure-induced sleepiness, they slipped their jackets on over their loose shirts and dangling ties, and slipped quietly out the window, racing through the cool night air back to Windsor. They'd always keep this sort of thing between them; they were good at that. After all, only two days ago Blaine was feeling lonely as well…

***Looks around nervously* So, what did you guys think? Tell me! Love you!**


End file.
